Sweet Revenge

The Tall Man took a long drag off his cigarette, inhaling deeply before letting the smoke rise up past his broom-like mustache. He stared down to see a small blood stain that clung to his green shirt, dripping slowly down onto his overalls, reminding him that there was no turning back now.

The Tall Man turned his attention towards his guest, the Fat Man in red, tied to a chair in the corner of the room. The Fat Man’s face was swollen and bloodied, a result of having several blocks broken over his head, the blocks in question laying in pieces over the dirty basement floor. Shards of brick adorned with jigsaw pieces of a question mark, a question mark that somehow held all the answers and told the tale of what had transpired in this dark room.

The Fat Man, doing his best to recall the events that had led to this moment, recounted everything that had come before. How he'd managed to brave his way through an army of nightmare mushroom knights, an unending parade of vicious turtles, and a seemingly perpetual volley of fireballs. The Fat Man charged through the castle, determined to rescue the woman he loved, even murdering the spike shelled tyrant who lived there by dropping the hell turtle into a bubbling pool of hot lava.

When the gate was raised and the Fat Man gazed into the darkness, he was greeted only by a sinister laugh that mockingly cried out "Your princess is in another castle!" That was the last thing he remembered before God had turned out the lights. Now groggy, the Fat Man's vision slowly returned, and he began to recognize the outline of the man who stood before him.

“Why are you doing this? You’re a my brother!”

The Tall Man chuckled in response to the Fat Man’s pleas. He'd worked too hard to get to this moment, had committed too many attrocities to turn back now. Friends and enemies alike were left broken, bloodied, and lifeless on the Rainbow Road that had finally brought him to this castle. The castle where he would finally stop living in the shadow of his brother.

“You had it too good for a too long! It was always about-a you! Mario, Mario, Mario! Well, now’s a gonna be my time! It’s a my turn in the spotlight!”

Tears began rolling down the Fat Man’s face. “What are you gonna do?”

The Tall Man took another drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke in the Fat Man’s face. He dropped his cigarette to the ground, stomping it out with his foot. The Tall Man chuckled, holding up his hand as a single fireball began to take shape in his palm, flickering menacingly and casting a series of shadows that danced playfully across the room.

“I’m-a gonna win.”


Dustin is a comedian, writer, and failed musician.